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Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: May 24th, 2023, 10:59 am
by CameronBornAndBred
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: May 24th, 2023, 5:48 pm
by OPK
“Weave off, game on”
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: May 28th, 2023, 5:24 pm
by ArkieDukie
While driving home this afternoon, I saw a hand-painted billboard that said, “Trump, will you be next?” It was followed by a cross.
This replaced a billboard that said, “Trump won. Stolen.” So, I already knew the owners were crazy. The new billboard takes it to a new level. I’m simultaneously appalled and a bit scared that people actually view Trump as being equivalent to Jesus.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: May 28th, 2023, 6:23 pm
by CameronBornAndBred
ArkieDukie wrote: ↑May 28th, 2023, 5:24 pm
While driving home this afternoon, I saw a hand-painted billboard that said, “Trump, will you be next?” It was followed by a cross.
This replaced a billboard that said, “Trump won. Stolen.” So, I already knew the owners were crazy. The new billboard takes it to a new level. I’m simultaneously appalled and a bit scared that people actually view Trump as being equivalent to Jesus.
The only thing in common between Trump and Jesus is they both got arrested.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: May 28th, 2023, 7:45 pm
by OPK
CameronBornAndBred wrote: ↑May 28th, 2023, 6:23 pm
ArkieDukie wrote: ↑May 28th, 2023, 5:24 pm
While driving home this afternoon, I saw a hand-painted billboard that said, “Trump, will you be next?” It was followed by a cross.
This replaced a billboard that said, “Trump won. Stolen.” So, I already knew the owners were crazy. The new billboard takes it to a new level. I’m simultaneously appalled and a bit scared that people actually view Trump as being equivalent to Jesus.
The only thing in common between Trump and Jesus is they both got arrested.
And they have the two greatest books ever.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 26th, 2023, 1:50 pm
by lawgrad91
Currently have a domestic assault case. The first time these two came to court, she said she would go to jail rather than testify against him for breaking in her apartment and violently assaulting her. I managed to get one case through by promising I would dismiss it if he was of good behavior and got the help he needed. Before that case came to court, he broke into her apartment again. So he's in jail, and they are on the phone expressing their eternal love, and she is apologizing to him.
I'm monitoring their phone calls; if he kills her, it's not going to be my fault.
Anyway, this past Monday was the Juneteenth holiday in Virginia. He called her, and complained about his lawyer's office being closed. She complained about not hearing back from the gaming convention about her job application for the Danville casino. She said, "well, today's a holiday." He said, "Fathers' Day?" She said, "no, it's that new one. You know, gay pride."
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 26th, 2023, 2:48 pm
by OZZIE4DUKE
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑June 26th, 2023, 1:50 pm
Currently have a domestic assault case. The first time these two came to court, she said she would go to jail rather than testify against him for breaking in her apartment and violently assaulting her. I managed to get one case through by promising I would dismiss it if he was of good behavior and got the help he needed. Before that case came to court, he broke into her apartment again. So he's in jail, and they are on the phone expressing their eternal love, and she is apologizing to him.
I'm monitoring their phone calls; if he kills her, it's not going to be my fault.
Anyway, this past Monday was the Juneteenth holiday in Virginia. He called her, and complained about his lawyer's office being closed. She complained about not hearing back from the gaming convention about her job application for the Danville casino. She said, "well, today's a holiday." He said, "Fathers' Day?" She said, "no, it's that new one. You know, gay pride."
You can't fix stupid.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 30th, 2023, 10:48 am
by lawgrad91
I guess I will get sent to sensitivity training at some point in the future, but it became relevant to play Monty Python's The Lumberjack Song to the interns this morning.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 30th, 2023, 11:13 am
by OPK
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 10:48 am
I guess I will get sent to sensitivity training at some point in the future, but it became relevant to play Monty Python's The Lumberjack Song to the interns this morning.
It would still be worth it.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 30th, 2023, 11:24 am
by lawgrad91
OPK wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 11:13 am
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 10:48 am
I guess I will get sent to sensitivity training at some point in the future, but it became relevant to play Monty Python's The Lumberjack Song to the interns this morning.
It would still be worth it.
Absolutely.
Dude broke in his ex-wife's house. Shot her dad when he came over to see what was going on. They found dude in possession of their wedding rings and a handful of the ex's panties. He just told HIS MAMA, "I like to wear women's panties on occasion."
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 30th, 2023, 1:32 pm
by OPK
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 11:24 am
OPK wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 11:13 am
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 10:48 am
I guess I will get sent to sensitivity training at some point in the future, but it became relevant to play Monty Python's The Lumberjack Song to the interns this morning.
It would still be worth it.
Absolutely.
Dude broke in his ex-wife's house. Shot her dad when he came over to see what was going on. They found dude in possession of their wedding rings and a handful of the ex's panties. He just told HIS MAMA, "I like to wear women's panties on occasion."
It sounds like a Monty Python clip is the least troublesome part of your morning then!
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 30th, 2023, 3:36 pm
by lawgrad91
Will the intern broke the desk in the intern office this morning. He propped his foot on the desk to tie his shoe and the desk collapsed. (Will is a D2 college lineman. He is listed at 6'5" and 280. So I can see that happening.)
Maintenance just showed up to fix it. They brought...A. LADDER.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: June 30th, 2023, 4:24 pm
by OPK
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 3:36 pm
Will the intern broke the desk in the intern office this morning. He propped his foot on the desk to tie his shoe and the desk collapsed. (Will is a D2 college lineman. He is listed at 6'5" and 280. So I can see that happening.)
Maintenance just showed up to fix it. They brought...A. LADDER.
I hope you have a four day weekend coming up, you deserve it!
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: July 1st, 2023, 4:02 pm
by Phredd3
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑June 30th, 2023, 3:36 pm
Will the intern broke the desk in the intern office this morning. He propped his foot on the desk to tie his shoe and the desk collapsed. (Will is a D2 college lineman. He is listed at 6'5" and 280. So I can see that happening.)
Maintenance just showed up to fix it. They brought...A. LADDER.
This caused me to experience an unreasonable amount of laughter and merriment. I would have given a lot to see the look on your face when they arrived.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: August 14th, 2023, 9:15 am
by OZZIE4DUKE
Lawgrad,you could be supplementing your retirement fund by selling your stories instead of just giving them to us!
https://petsreporter.com/lawyers-share- ... 1075659234
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 10:19 am
by lawgrad91
Heheheh.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 10:20 am
by lawgrad91
Someone left his/her meth pipe in the Circuit courtroom on Wednesday.
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 11:58 am
by CameronBornAndBred
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑August 18th, 2023, 10:20 am
Someone left his/her meth pipe in the Circuit courtroom on Wednesday.
See any bailiffs patting at their pockets? ;)
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 2:23 pm
by lawgrad91
CameronBornAndBred wrote: ↑August 18th, 2023, 11:58 am
lawgrad91 wrote: ↑August 18th, 2023, 10:20 am
Someone left his/her meth pipe in the Circuit courtroom on Wednesday.
See any bailiffs patting at their pockets? ;)
Re: You can't make this stuff up!
Posted: August 22nd, 2023, 11:13 am
by lawgrad91
If someone in your county calls 911 to report that they need a skunk removed from Mama's open grave before the funeral, you might live in Redneck County....
